4 Tips to Becoming a Kinder Mompreneur
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Mom guilt killing your mompreneur game? Frustrated trying to find the ‘perfect balance’ of babies and a business? Feeling torn between your passion and your little loves?
The bad news: The mom-guilt game is an ongoing struggle for most female entrepreneurs, Good news: You’re not alone. Even better news: I have 4 practical tips for you to implement today to help you punch mom-guilt square in the face. However, before we dive in, I want to preface this blog with the understanding that we are never going to be perfect at anything. Not you, not me, not the most amazing mom that ‘moms’ perfectly on and off Instagram- no one. Killing the mom-guilt is a work in progress, as is all of life. Yet, we need to press into Jesus with all of our issues, even this one. Give yourself a little grace and know that the power of Christ is made strong in your weakness.
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:8-9
So how do we overcome these struggles and find a way to become a kinder mompreneur? Here are a few tips designed to help you on this journey.
1. It is not only OK to work around your children - it's good for them!
Are we trying to raise children who have no concept of what it's like to work hard for something? Or are we raising children who we want to not only work hard, but work hard in a way that is pleasing to the Lord?
Think of it this way: Thousands of years ago, women were not just sitting around playing with their children all day long, avoiding work for fear of upsetting their children. They also weren’t worried about keeping them constantly entertained. Our foremothers did not feel guilty for going out into the fields to work because this is how they would keep their families fed. They were teaching them not only how to work, but why it’s necessary for everyone to work and sacrifice. On top of that, women were involving their children in their work and teaching them how to work so that they could survive in the future. Let's take a lesson from those hearty women.
2. Implement a daily quiet time.
Being still doesn't come naturally. We need to teach our children how to be still, so they can learn how to not only pay attention when needed, but more importantly how to be still before the Lord, Whether that's praying and listening to him, or simply resting, knowing He is in control, we need to show our children that they do not need to be “entertained” or stimulated constantly. Depending on their age, you could provide them with a children’s bible, stickers and a Bible story graphic, an audio Bible to listen to, or a journal and encourage them to pray or spend time with the Lord.
Bonus idea that comes from one of my favorite podcasts, Cultivating the Lovely- The Podcast (which is amazing and you should totally check it out!) is diffusing oils during your child’s quiet time. Those of you that have used oils in the past may have seen that it relaxes your kiddos, but this also encourages them to associate the Bible with a smell, meaning it will be even more imprinted in their memory.
3. Incorporate them into the rest of your daily routine.
““I’m not a ‘playing’ mom.” “I don’t enjoy sitting and playing with my kids.” If I had a quarter for every time I heard something like this.. Well, you know the rest. Anyway, I don’t believe most of us are naturally inclined to sit and play Barbies or trucks with our children. But, this is a skill that is learned {see tip #2} that is not only good for us to practice, but even more beneficial for our children. However, just because it is beneficial for both parties to learn to play together, doesn’t mean you must constantly engage with your child over their toys. Instead, allow them to get involved in your daily activities, such as meal planning or prepping, making a meal for someone, putting the laundry away, or cleaning the bathroom. This is a great way to engage with them and still be productive.
4. But, go into their world too.
Children are not an accessory - they are truly a gift from the Lord. It is amazing what happens when you go into a child's world instead of always asking them to go into your world. In this day and age, it does take self discipline not to be on your phone when you're around your kids. It also takes self-discipline to play with them doing things you don't necessarily enjoy. But the delight and feeling of love and security that overcomes our children when we stop and play with them, even if it's only for 30 minutes, is priceless.
We are truly shaping who are children will become right now, in this moment. I know this is a crazy question, but it truly puts our lives in perspective when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes: Do you want your kiddos to stop and take time to enjoy your grandchildren? Of course you do! That being said, we need to be setting that example right now.
My husband, Ben, and I are working through an idea, developed by the parents of the founding members of the band Switchfoot, of “never saying no.” And while we don't believe in literally never saying no, we have experienced joy from both parties {parents and kids} first handedly + the behavioral change that comes along with it, when we say ‘yes’ more and less “no’s.”
Obviously we don't say yes to things that would harm her or destroy an item in our home. However, we are constantly reevaluating what we say no to in the process.. Are we saying no because it's inconvenient to us? Or are we saying no to keep her safe? If we are saying no because it's an inconvenience to us, we try to think of a way that we could say yes. We believe that this a way to let her know that she is truly valued.
Finally sister, I want to leave you with two simple questions as we work through this mompreneur thing together:
What can you begin to implement to become a better work at home mom?
How will you begin saying ‘yes’ to your kids to show them that you truly care about their world?
I can’t even begin to tell you how important community has been for me in my journey as an mompreneur. Community has a way of making guilt and struggle dissolve, as if it never existed and reminding you that you are enough because our Heavenly Father says so. If you’re struggling with mom-guilt as an entrepreneur, come and rest with the rest of us in the Proverbs 31 Entrepreneurs who are simply pressing into Jesus to make all things possible in our lives + businesses. You’ll find a Christ-centered business community with women who are real, transparent, and thriving + willing to share their tips, tricks, and secrets for building successful businesses with Jesus at the center